challenges

Loving Your Strengths, Your Struggles, and Loving Yourself

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I am a single mom.

I’ve struggled with whether or not to write this article, and to publicize to the world that this is my lot. This is meant to be the blog for the Jewish mother, and in establishing my online voice I’ve thought I had to comply with the vision of life that I had hoped would manifest itself way back when; the one that I figured mothers could identify with. I realize now that that ain’t so.

In establishing this blog, Bitachon Balance and Blessing I wanted women to see themselves in the message portrayed. You may be struggling with chinuch. You may be experiencing a difficult marriage. Money may be tight. Shalom bayis may be difficult for you to attain. But in my mind, you were married, and raising your kids. In my mind, only the minority are divorced.

This blog was the brainchild of a woman who has grown through adversity. My writing, my thoughts, my tefilos are laced with the wisdom I’ve been granted through the times I’ve lost myself in pain and had to reach back for the sky, putting one foot in front of the other for days on end. And now with the opportunity presenting itself to stand as a pillar of hope for others, I felt myself shying away from my reality. Well, no more. I know that this is the source of the gift HKB”H wants me to send on through to the public. (Well, that and some creative juices and fun projects!)

What makes a mother? You’ve seen discussion of this concept in earlier posts, and you’ll see it again in future, without a doubt. A mother is the woman who gives of herself to the next generation, who takes the moral decisions she’s made to carry her and others forward. From the bleakest depths of the earth Hashem has cut diamonds of us. In writing these articles I hope to inspire you to accept and own your war scars, wearing them as medallions around your neck. Be brave. Stand up and applaud yourself for who it is that you’ve become, and utilize that person to propel you into the future.

You have so much to give, as you. Never hide it. Love yourself.

What is it in your own reality that you fear? Learn to accept and to own that pressure point, because it will produce pearls. And if you feel comfortable doing so, share it below.

Sharing in Life’s Challenges

Sharing in Life's ChallengesLast summer I was sitting in a friend’s backyard watching our kids play. The weather was perfect, and we were contemplating the upcoming school year. One friend shared some difficulties she was facing with her child. “I thought I was the only one dealing with that,” piped up another.

This set me thinking. It’s so easy to assume that everyone else has it easier than we do. Whether it’s a parenting issue, marital difficulty, health challenge, or anything else Gd has set upon our plates. Yet we must realize that He has given it to us, and no matter the hand we’re dealt, we must remember we have the ability to get through it. Hashem only gives us what we can handle. So the question begs, how?

By turning to one another for guidance, and to share in the burden.

Throughout challenges I’ve faced, I’ve come to appreciate this. We are never alone in our struggles. I’ve come to experience support groups, but also just to realize the strength of my friendships. The more bleak times have seemed, the more we hang upon one another for commiseration, for strength, for reassurance. Whether or not we’ve faced this fork in the road before, we know that someone else out there has, and made it through the beaten path. There is power in numbers.

So the next time you feel you’re doing it alone. Remember, you aren’t.